Thursday, September 15, 2011

Amazing what happens in a matter of years

As I attempt to clean the cobwebs and kill spiders, I smile because of the impact of time on my life. In fact only thing I can say is "My God don bless me eh".

Ok let's see. Here's a quick update, for those who still stumble on here.
  1. Got married to an amazing man who loves me pass amala!
  2. Oh and yes he's Naija! God made it happen o! Igbo too, my papa's prayers were missiles!
  3. the Dougie came and went and I still cant fake it well.
  4. Grew closer to God. Matter of fact, dont jealous me sha, but He handed me a bunch of keys and its all cha-ching! All the way! Even in the midst of NEPA (abi PHCN), His emergency torchlight no dey fall my hand.
  5. I'm alive, my peeps are alive and I'm sitting with the King on top of mount Zion.
Oh Barrack na my president now. Ah you know I said it before, I am tooo mushhh! kai, I didnt realize God was giving me prophetic insight before, while I was too busy talking about Emeka and Dr O.

All jokes aside, if you read this, slap yourself as a sign that you are ALIVE!

Saturday, May 12, 2007

I wanna be rich!

Ok ok ok we all want to be rich! As an American physician, I'm "comfortable" but its more than that. I think maybe its cause I'm Nigerian or maybe its that Igbo blood in me, and no its not 419 hustling, but legitimate business schemes, even if its Nnewi spare parts trading or Aba factory! I realize now that maybe my drive might be a little bit too much for some men. I relate better with my male friends and family members who arent settling for what society gives them, and who are working hard to make it happen on the side. I cant see myself with a husband who is content with just a paycheck, is that a bad thing? I mean even if my husband is a neurosurgeon making $800k from his private clinic, I dont think I would be completely happy. I would still feel that we have even more resources to do even more.

My last ex was a Dr and truth be told we would have been financially comfortable together but he lacked that drive. I had so many ideas and needed a man who could take them and run with it. I felt like I was wasting my time with him, my ideas included. I thrive off hearing men talk about their big plans, and offering input, bouncing ideas back and forth. I see my future husband and myself having a business empire on the side, able to use excess funds to help our people back home. I know it can happen, I just need a man who has that drive and loves what I have to offer. I dont care for a "readymade " situation, that takes away from the fun of it, but someone who wants to make it past what is given to them! My parents tell me that all the time, that if I end up with the right guy who thinks like that, in 5yrs we'll be unstoppable.

Is that asking too much, any guys want to offer input to that?

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

You can have my kidney...

A close friend just told me "Naijaluv, you are an amazing friend, I love you, if you ever needed a kidney, I'd donate it to you". Guaranteed it was 2am, and she was drunk when she said this, I still found it touching, because I'd do likewise. It had me wondering of all the people I would willing donate a body organ to, at least one like a kidney, bone marrow and stuff, that wouldnt wipe away my existence. I have a vast list of family and friends to whom I'd happily live with 1 kidney to see survive if I turned out to be a good match. You can exist fully on 1 kidney, mortality rates are less than 0.1%, meaning your chance of undergoing any longterm damage is basically 0!

I'm also on the Bone Marrow Registry, so someday I might get an random call saying I'm a match to a stranger.

My question is would you donate, why/whynot and to whom?

Saturday, April 28, 2007

I will marry a Naija man

Ndo, Ma binu, E jo...Sorry for being so so so incognito, especially for those that still read, I've been busy getting my life in order and will update it when the time is right Lets just say there is a potential on the scene, and I'm genuinely excited at where it is going. If he is as legit as he appears, the saying u have to kiss a couple of frogs to get to a prince is right! Omo with as many frogs as I've kissed in the past yr, I had to wash my mouth with Listerine Intensive mouthwash, and even with that, I can still smell my breath!

Anyway back to the topic...I dont want to marry a Naija man, I NEED to marry a Naija man. No offense to my sisters married to non Nigerian men but previous non Nigerian relationships and random dating encounters in the past recent weeks have shown me otherwise. I'm sorry I cant keep having to interpret what I mean what sha, jare and all that stuff means. I believe we are the world and in flashing a peace sign and world unity and all that, but God Himself knows the desires of my heart and that one includes a Nigerian man! Igbo would be awesome, Yoruba would be nice, Hausa...well where I go find dat one for Yankee, so that one no go work! My minority brodas are ok, I hear say Idoma men are tasty, so abeg all reading should apply! haha

I want a Naija man who knows and acknowledges his Naija side, as in one who can eat fufu with his fingers, yet I want a Naija man who can turn around and look good in a black tie event hence all agboros, omatas and area boys, carry yourself and go. I want a Naija man that knows why if Uncle Boniface is sick in the village, that phone call informing me of his sickness means donation! I want a Naija man who understands why I love the red sand in the East that covers the ground of my ancestors, even though it damages my shoes. A Naija man who knows "home" really does mean naija even after 20yrs here, and wants to have a "home" to go back to! A Naija man who wants his children speaking our language and knowing our ways. I want a Naija man who will sit in the kitchen and keep me comfy even as I attempt to prepare our food. I want a Naija man who will surprise me with breakfast in bed. I want a Naija man who will discuss politics with me, who will let me beat him in NFL Madden, who will travel the world with me. A Naija man who is man enough to shack Gulder (sorry to Stout&Star drinkers!), and man enough to realize he is a mere mortal, and has the fear of God. One who knows being a Christian is more than going to church on Sundays and lets his actions and ways be one that lets me feel comfortable having him as my head and covering!

A Naija man who knows the difference between confidence and cockiness, who doesnt come with wahala, but still has that gra gra that makes his presence known when he walks into a room. A Naija man who wont go crazy if Baby #1 and #2 arent male (my Igbo people u know how we are!). A Naija man who has a strong sense of family but whose parents arent the inlaws from hell who expect me to cook 3 different types of soup at every meal! I want a naija man who isnt jealous when eyes glance my way as I wear a hot sexy dress and break it down in the club to his delight! A Naija man who will be both a father and a daddy and realize there is a difference between both. One who will be a good role model for our sons and daughters, one who will be there when it counts and realizes that childhood is priceless! I want a naija man that is a hustler, yeah I want one with a degree but if you are sitting there waiting for your next promotion patiently, I'll gladly pass! That said I want a Naija man who isnt a "yahoo yahoo boy!" (abeg no to 419), and who isnt a wanted man due to his odu bizness with awon boys! I want a Naija man that doesnt feel threatened by my title and degree, who lets me be his wife, his partner, his lover and his friend. One who will go running with me when I pick up pounds after having our baby. A man who will "share my life and take me for what I am", who will please me in ways that wil make me feel I have no other option but to love and cater to him. A naija man who is able to touch me in ways I thought unimaginable, and make me discover untouched terrains. A Naija man whose needs I alone am allowed to feed and fulfil. One who will whisper sweet nothings in native languages that will make me melt in the bed at night as we touch, teach and tease...

I want a Naija man who might surprise me with a plane tix home to go see the folks! (LOL I know this is pushing it haha) but most importantly I want a Naija man that will love, respect and honor me, one who will keep my smile glowing and my happiness showing.

My Naija man where art thou? I'm right here waiting oooooooo

Sunday, March 4, 2007

Growing up mixed in naija

I was going to say "half-caste", but really we technically were not, we are 25% Lebanese(from my mom, sh's half, dad is full Igbo) but in naija, for all folks cared, we were all the same..."half-caste" My mom has 6 siblings, and they all have 5kids so there are 30 of us scattered all over Naija from Enugu to Jos to Lagos. My Granddad had some STRONG genes, just 25% and yet we ALL look alike, its scary, if u saw us, u would know instantly that we are related.

You see I spent my earlier childhood in Europe/US and moved back to naija when I was 11 going on 12. I didnt now what the big deal was, I really wanted to blend in, and felt like I was too light to fit into the society. All the kids were too quick to notice my siblings and I in schl, the girls always wanted to touch the long hair, the guys wanted to be my protectors by force. I resisted it, and the hrs I spent out in the sun was to no avail, my body was done producing all the melanin it could! Basically I hated being mixed till I started hanging around my cousins...kai!! My cousins knew the art of milking the Naija society for all the half-caste "opportunities" EVER! Especially the ones who lived in Lagos. I quickly noticed that when I visited them, we basically got into everywhere for free, and without waiting. I mean we never had an official Ikoyi Club membership, but they frequented that place like nobody's business. We would come deep too, at least 10 of us in the bus, sometimes as much as 15...who is really going to turn back a bus full of "half-caste" kids at the gate, not in lagos thats for sure!!

As I got into my early teen years, I started loving the attention we got everywhere we went, we got 1st class treatment at the restaurants, we got red carpet treatment even at the beach, when folks would move all their stuff just so we got the best spot. All the guys wanted to be my male cousins' friends, "so that it would boost their chance with the half-caste babes". My female cousins ran their schls and being very vocal, had a lot of haters as well, it was a sight to see, and a ton of fun, so I was there for every break. We would come into parties late and shut it down, all 10 of us, necks would be breaking to catch a glimpse. Lagos was on some serious Kolo mentality, its sad thinking about it. I mean we were pretty and handsome kids but it was the fairer skin and "soft, curly long hair", AND the pointed noses that I know caused the havoc. Even quiet lil me took advantage of it all,
  • to the chic who spent hundreds on us back then at Mr Biggs in order to get my cousin Habib (name changed)'s #, sorry I'm sure you realized the # was vex abeg!
Even in the village, our house was the happening spot sef! Grandpa had been adopted by my grandma's village back when she married him, so thats where the family house is built, and my uncles also have homes there. Whenever we all came for Xmas, it was like the circus had come to town! EVERYONE found a reason to stop by and greet the "Umu ocha" (white children) as my family was known as. Whenever we came to the village church, late as ever for Xmas service, and it was full inside, grown men would stand up so that lil ol me could sit down inside away from the sun!

Enugu was the worst sha, my cousins ran that town, it was much too small though and it didnt have the shindigs like Gidi did so I hardly went there. It is sad though how people "worshipped" people of mixed race in Nigeria. People on my father's side were too eager to show off their "royal whities", it was pitiful. By the time I was done with high schl, I was fed up with that life, came back to the US on a black power tip, wantd to grow a fro, so I chopped my waist length hair off. Coming from a family where no female has hair shorter than mid back length, you can imagine the horror! I was seen as the family rebel, with my mom, cousins and aunts calling me from Naija expressing utter disapproval and telling me it was my crown and jewel! I did grow it back eventually but it was only because I wanted a change after a few years. Sometimes I wonder just how much growing up mixed in naija affected us all. It seemed like we were never seen as individuals, it was always "that half-caste family", "umu ocha", "Ndi Lebani", "Umu Habib" as Habib(name changed) was my grand dad's name. Last time I went, things had changed but not really, jaws still dropped when we went to functions, and the female cousins who arent married have their pick of fine suitors from a list of who is who in Nigeria, who appear to be desperate for a pretty trophy wife to rock on their arms.

The last time in Lagos some guy called me "hey pretty halfcaste chic", and I was totally disappointed and checked him on it. I consider myself Nigerian, I dont deny my Lebanese heritage, my grandfather was the sweetest man ever, and he told us many stories of his homeland, and we are all planning on visiting soon as a group. But "half-caste" is not and shouldnt be my main identity!

Monday, February 12, 2007

Brief update

I've been gone for eternity it seems, had too many personal issues to deal with and was to busy being a friend. I dont think Emeka and I will be in a relationship for a while if ever. Fate is cruel, Emeka lost his baby bro in a car accident while he was visiting Nigeria end of Jan! The boy was only 23yrs old, his right hand, his side kick, his ace. Seeing a grown man cry, cry as in shed tears, sobbing and shaking is something I've never really seen much of. Its completely depressing, I flew down to see him a few days ago and he looks like a completely different person. They lived together, and since their dad passed away when they were kids, he was like a big-brother/father figure. He left for Naija yesterday and I can only pray that God gives him strength, I cant imagine dealing with something like that.
So now that I've succeeded in dampening my spirits, I'll have to take a break and be back today or tomorrow with something better. Actually I need to talk about my brother and his version of Maury show "He is not the father" that also happened in Jan!

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Enough of men!

Ok I'm a lil down about men and the male species, stuff that has happened to me and folks I know, so I'm not going to talk about men for a min. Sigh, some are really sick, stoooooooopid bastards!!!

I think I want my next post to focus of me, my family and background, I think its pretty unique and different from most Nigerians, and I'd love to share!!